Perfectionist vs Optimalist

In "The Pursuit of Perfect", Ben Shahar has very well differentiated between a Perfectionist and a Optimalist.

According to the author, Perfectionists and Optimalists do not necessarily differ in aspirations, in the goals they set for themselves. Both can demonstrate same level of ambition, the same intense desire to achieve their goals. The difference lies in the ways each approaches the process of achieving goals.

For Perfectionist, failure has no role in the journey toward the peak of the mountain; the ideal path towards his goals is the shortest, most direct path – a straight line. Anything that impedes his progress towards the ultimate goal is viewed as an unwelcome obstacle. However, this does not respond to reality. He is unable to enjoy the here and now because he is completely engrossed in his obsession with the next promotion, next prize, the next milestone – which he believes will make him happy and sometimes unknowingly he finds himself in the mid of life’s rat race.

For Optimalist, failure is an inevitable part of the journey, of getting from where he is to where he wants to be. He views the optimal journey not a straight line but as a something more like an irregular upward spiral – while the direction is toward his objective. The Optimalist is grounded by reality; he accepts that the journey will not always be a smooth straight line, that he will encounter obstacles and detours along the way. He relies on facts and on reason and is in touch with reality. To the Optimalist, failure is an opportunity for receiving feedback.

Although most Perfectionists do not exhibit all their Perfectionist qualities to the same degree in every situation, the more they do, the higher their susceptibility to a whole range of challenges associated with perfectionism. According to Ben-Shahar, these could include “low self-esteem, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, psychosomatic disorders, chronic fatigue syndrome, alcoholism, social phobia, panic disorder, a paralyzing tendency to procrastination, and serious difficulties in relationships.”

I hope this post helps the perfectionists to realize how important it is to take failures/ hurdles as an opportunity for learning and enjoy the journey towards achieving the goal. Perfectionism is an attitude; we can change it through our behaviour. By being open and honest with ourselves rather than being defensive, venturing outside our comfort zone, falling down and getting up again and by starting to identify our Perfectionist characteristics and becoming conscious of their consequences.

I would like to conclude this post with these beautiful lines:

"We learn to walk by falling, to talk by babbling and to color the inside of a square by scribbling outside the box". Hence, don't be afraid of failures in life.

(Reference and more information: Ben Shahar, The Pursuit of Perfect)